


Come As You Are

by mcopland



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-29 17:33:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21413980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcopland/pseuds/mcopland
Summary: Tony hated the idea of going to a grief support group, but the idea of picking up a gorgeous widower was much better. Much, much better.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Songstone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Songstone/gifts).

Of all the places that Tony Stark was planning to spend a Friday evening, he was reasonably sure that a support group in a church basement was near the bottom. Maybe not entirely at the bottom - he’d been to a dinner at the White House recently - but it had to be in his top ten, easy. 

His father had died two months ago, and all the expensive psychiatrists he’d been to couldn’t get him to open up about his grief. He’d told his mother that he just didn’t care. “He was a bastard who didn’t give a shit about me. Why should I shed a single goddamned tear?” had been the straw that broke the camel’s back. Edwin Jarvis, the man who had been every bit the father to him that Howard Stark could never be, one of the people Tony trusted above all others, had put down an ultimatum: 

Go to a support group and talk with people who had been through loss, and figure himself out, or Jarvis was going to retire and move back to England. 

As much as Tony wanted to keep up the tough guy act, losing Jarvis would break his heart, and … well, he really did feel bad about making his mother cry. Jarvis had suggested a group that he’d been to years ago, so here he was. 

“You know, you could just tell my mother I came here, and we can go get a drink,” he said, leaning against the car and flashing Happy a grin. Happy responded by raising the window and turning up the stereo in the car. “....asshole,” he muttered.

People were starting to trickle into the church, and he let out a groan, following after them. One meeting. One meeting, and Tony could figure out what went on in enough detail that he could make it up when they asked him about future meetings. ‘Oh, Angela talked a lot about her dead husband. You’d like her, mom. She makes a mean pecan sandy.’

Tony stopped and made a note to look up a recipe for pecan sandies. Also, what the fuck a pecan sandy was. 

The man running the meeting was a stocky man around Tony’s age, maybe a few years older. He introduced himself as Bruce, and gave Tony a warm smile that Tony couldn’t quite return fully. “Welcome. Take a seat anywhere. If you want to talk your first time out, you can, but if you’re not comfortable, you can just listen. I— James! Good to see you.”

Tony turned to look at the man who had just entered, and wondered vaguely if it was wrong to pick up a guy at a grief support group. Fuck, he was gorgeous. A jawline that could cut glass, that smile that made Tony feel a little weak in the knees, and the most intense blue eyes he’d ever seen. Hell, he didn’t usually like guys with long hair, but it worked. 

“Hey, Bruce. I got my mom to look after the kids. I hope you don’t mind me crashing in. It’s just been a rough week, and I…” he sighed heavily, and all of a sudden, Tony could see the weight on his shoulders. He felt instantly guilty about imagining the guy naked on his bed. 

Bruce just shook his head and reached out to squeeze James’ shoulders. “Everyone experiences grief differently. I’m just glad you came here with friends instead of going through it alone. We have a new recruit. James, this is—“

“Tony Stark.” He extended his hand. “Good to meet you.”

“I mean, it’d be nicer under better circumstances,” Bucky replied with a weary smile, shaking Tony’s hand and sitting down. “I’m sorry about your dad.”

“I’m not,” Tony said with such an edge in his voice that Bucky flinched. “....sorry.”

“No, I get it. It can be complicated sometimes.”

James was the first person that hadn’t tried to make him feel like shit for not being heartbroken over his father’s death, and Tony fought the urge to hug him. He opened his mouth to say something, but by then, Bruce was speaking, so Tony sat down in silence, listening to the stories and taking in details when he had to, but he was paying more attention to James than anyone else. 

When James started to speak, Tony sat up a little straighter. 

“Hey, uh.. I’m James. I see some people I recognize. I’ve been coming here on and off for a couple years.” He picked at one of his cuticles and sighed. “My wife Natasha died two years ago. We… we have two kids. Clint is eight, and Wanda’s three. Almost four. She was…” he trailed off, laughing self consciously. “She was a surprise. But a good one. We weren’t planning on having two kids, and then there she was.” James looked down at his lap and let out a long sigh. 

Instinctively, Tony reached over and squeezed James’ hand. The other man looked surprised, but put one of his hands on top of Tony’s, mouthing ‘Thank you’. He left it there as he spoke. “I’m… I’m doing pretty good, all things considered. Thank god Natasha didn’t let me shy away from being a hands-on parent,” he chuckled. “It was just so much, and… trying to deal with the kids’ grief for so long, it was hard to process everything for myself.” A few people nodded sympathetically. 

“Wanda’s gonna start pre-school in September. And Clint’s going into third grade, and I… I see so many parts of her in them, and I see all these little milestones that I want her to be able to see, but…” James held onto Tony’s hand a little tighter, taking a shaky breath. “And my mom wants me to start dating. She told me that there’s no way Natasha would tolerate me being alone this long.” He laughed. “She’s right. I’m sure if there’s an afterlife, she’s probably trying to haunt my phone to install Tinder or something.”

The group laughed, and Bruce chuckled, leaning forward. “Has anyone else dealt with this situation and can give James some advice about what worked for them?”

Tony zoned out again, taking in all the information James had just given him - and the fact that they were still holding hands. His heart ached for the other man, and he felt guiltier than before for not having that kind of grief about losing his father so damn recently. James had to raise two kids while grieving the loss of his wife. He looked up when Bruce said his name, shaking his head. 

“...not tonight,” he muttered. Bruce nodded and moved onto the next person. 

After the meeting, Tony stood, following after James. “Hey! Uh.. can I give you a ride back to your place? Or maybe we can grab something to eat?”

James watched him for a moment that felt far longer than it should have. Finally, he checked his phone and nodded. “It’s still early. My mom said she’d watch the kids til nine.” 

“Holy shit, that gives us almost an hour to party. Think of the trouble we can get into!” Tony grinned, tapping his knuckles on the window of the car. The doors unlocked, and Tony opened one of the rear car doors before Happy could even get out. 

Rolling his eyes, Bucky got in and put his seatbelt on. “I don’t know how much trouble you expect me to get in. Honestly, the thought of having an adult conversation is… pretty great. I love those two more than anything, but it’s… nice to get out sometimes. My best friend just got married last year, so he doesn’t have time anymore. I get it, bu— christ, I’m sorry.” He leaned his head back against the car seat, letting out a chuckle as Happy started to drive off. “You know, for a second back there, I thought you were asking me on a date.”

“I mean, I was thinking about it.”

“What stopped you? Was it the dead wife and the two kids?”

Tony was caught off-guard and started to get a little defensive when he noticed that James was watching him with a little smile. He snorted. “Those were factors. So, you’re not straight?”

“I’m not. Are you?”

“I’m not. Did your wife know?”

“God, I hope so, or I have a lot of questions about why we had all those threesomes in college.” 

He quirked a brow. “You’re going to have to tell me more about this later. So, about that date.”

Bucky’s smile faltered just enough to make Tony wonder if he’d overstepped. He sighed and looked down in his lap. “...let me think about it? I… haven’t dated anyone but Natasha. Like, ever. And I have the kids to think of. I don’t want them to get attached to someone in case it doesn’t work out.” He reached over to squeeze Tony’s hand. “How about we shoot for friends, first? I get the feeling we could both use one.”

“Do friends tell each other about college three-ways they had, James?” Tony asked him sweetly. 

He burst out laughing. “Buy me dinner first. And … call me Bucky.”

“....why would I do that?” He couldn’t imagine such a gorgeous man with a nickname that made him sound like a cartoon rabbit. Bewildered, Tony pressed the intercom. “Happy, my man. Take us somewhere nice for dinner. You like sushi?” Bucky nodded. “Sushi, please.”

“Sounds good, boss.”

Bucky waited until the intercom button was released before laughing again. “You make fun of my nickname?”

“His is ironic. Yours is weird.” He patted Bucky on the thigh. “It’s fine. We’ll work up to nicknames.” 

As much as Tony wasn’t used to being turned down for dates, friends… was good. He could handle friends. 

Maybe with benefits later.


	2. Chapter 2

“So, how was the meeting?” Jarvis asked, pouring Tony a coffee and setting down the plate of breakfast in front of him. Tony was certain that there was no one in the world who could make eggs quite as fluffy as Jarvis. 

Tony sipped his coffee. “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I made a friend.” He tried not to feel offended by the way that Jarvis’ eyebrows shot up in surprise, but it stung. “I can make friends,” he muttered defensively. 

“But you  _ don’t _ ,” Jarvis replied, chuckling. “I’m happy for you. Tell me about this friend.” He took a seat at the kitchen island once his tea was ready. 

“His name’s James. Wants me to call him Bucky for some reason.” Tony let out a little huff. “What a bizarre nickname.”

“Are you sure it’s not because  _ you _ didn’t come up with it?” Jarvis asked, smirking into his tea. Tony averted his eyes and cleared his throat. 

“So, uh. Anyway. He’s a widower, and he has two kids. He seems like a really nice guy. We went out for dinner after the meeting, I… think I can really talk to him.” There were few people Tony felt like he could really open up to, and one of them was sitting across from him. “I’m gonna have lunch with him today. Him and his daughter.”

The older man was quiet for a moment as he tried to choose the best way to phrase his question. “I have to say, I’m surprised to hear you seeking out any kind of relationship where children are involved, Tony. If I remember right, your relationship with Miss Potts ended because she wanted children and you didn’t. Has that changed?”

“No. We’re just friends, and his mom babysits them sometimes so it’s not like they’re always going to be around…” Tony trailed off, feeling that same pang of guilt he did when Pepper was involved.  _ God _ , he’d really hurt her. Maybe one day they’d both forgive him for breaking her heart, but not yet. He desperately wanted her to move on and be happy, and selfishly, part of that was so he could forgive himself for what he’d done. “Anyway, maybe they’re okay. Y’know, for spawn.”

Jarvis laughed and squeezed Tony’s shoulder, shaking his head in amusement. “I’d like to meet this friend of yours. I’m sure your mother will, as well. Invite him for dinner sometime. I’ll make something special. It’s been far too long since you’ve had a guest over that didn’t perform the walk of shame in the morning.”

“You don’t know that he won’t!” Tony protested to Jarvis’ retreating figure. He huffed. Sometimes Jarvis knew him too well. The constant revolving door feeling with women had always been an issue with his father. He’d wanted Tony to settle down years ago, but Tony hadn’t met the right person - and he sure as hell wasn’t going to try and date a man while Howard Stark was alive to judge him. It was easier to bury that part of himself deep down where it didn’t hurt as much to think about. Not anymore. 

He could fuck whoever he wanted now. If he wanted to show up in the middle of a gay club during pride month wearing assless leather chaps and  _ nothing else _ , Howard couldn’t say anything anymore. 

Tony felt a twist in his stomach but he ignored it, scanning through work emails while he ate his breakfast. 

-

“But why’s he hafta come here?” Clint asked, sighing dramatically. 

“You’re gonna be at your friend’s place, remember?” Bucky poured milk in Wanda’s bowl and left a little glass for the increasingly-independent Clint to add his own milk to his cereal. “And I need more friends to hang out with too.”

Clint gave him a wounded look. “You have us!”

Bucky sat down and pulled the little boy in for a one-armed hug. “I know. And I love you guys more than anything. I just need … grown-up friends.”

“You have Uncle Steve!”

“Uncle Steve’s been real busy lately, buddy. This’ll be a good thing. Maybe we can see where he builds robots and stuff. That’d be cool, right?”

“I guess.” Clint sulked, eating his cereal. Wanda slid out of her booster seat and went to climb into her father’s lap. Bucky obliged, giving her a squeeze and kissing the top of her red hair. 

He slid Wanda’s bowl closer to her and scooted closer to the table so she could eat. “Wanda’s gonna be with me, okay? And if you’re worried, Scott’s mom has my number and she can call me for you.” Bucky ruffled his son’s hair. “You’ll be too busy having fun with Scott to worry about me having friends.” 

They ate their breakfasts in quiet, for the most part. Finally, Clint spoke up, obviously hesitating. “Are we gonna have another mommy?”

Bucky blinked a few times. “What? I… I don’t know, Clint. Maybe someday? I haven’t been on a date or anything, and that usually comes first.”

“I don’t want another mommy,” Wanda mumbled, turning her face into Bucky’s chest. “Don’t want you to go away, Daddy.”

Sometimes, Bucky wondered very much how his childrens’ minds worked. This was one of those times. “Hey. Hey, princess. I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’m gonna be real old and I’ll still be your daddy and I’ll still love you guys to the moon and back.”

Wanda sniffled, looking up at him, and Bucky saw so much of Natasha in her that it broke his heart. “Promise?”

“I promise.” He squeezed her tight and kissed her on the cheek. “Now both of you finish your breakfasts. Clint, Scott’s mom is gonna be here in thirty minutes.” He really had no idea what Tony had planned - just that it was lunch. They’d had such a great time the night before, and though he suspected part of that was that Tony wanted to get him into bed, that …felt sort of good too. 

It was nice to be wanted, and he was so used to being looked at with sympathy now that this felt new. Bucky wasn’t going to jump into anything - especially after what the kids had told him about not wanting another mom - but… god, he was lonely. He missed his wife. Going from having her there every day, and having his arms around her every night to just…. nothing was miserable.

Natasha had been one of his best friends since high school - the two of them and Steve had been inseparable, and one night, when they were studying late and Steve was asleep, she’d looked over at where he was sitting on the floor. 

“Barnes.”

“What?”

“Is Steve asleep?”

“I sure hope so. Snoring like that while you’re awake probably means there’s something really fucking wrong with you.” He grinned, looking back at his textbook to try and make sense of it. When he looked up again, Natasha was nearly in his lap. Their eyes locked, and before he could say anything, she was kissing him. 

Suddenly, so many of the questions that he’d had were answered. His arms went around her like they were supposed to, and stayed there. He still remembered the song that was playing quietly the first time. She must have put it on, because Bucky wasn’t sure that he or Steve would have put on the Cure, but ‘Just Like Heaven’ was playing all the same. 

They’d been so worried to tell Steve, but when they’d finally confessed, all he did was groan “Oh my god, finally!” and hug them both. 

Now? Now Steve seemed hesitant to even mention her, and while he understood to a certain extent, it made him a little resentful. Steve had lost a close friend. Bucky had lost his partner. His kids had lost their mom, and he had a constant reminder of her for the rest of his life. As much as he loved Steve, sometimes he just wanted to punch him in his stupid fa—

“Daddy?”

Bucky’s head snapped up and he turned to look at Wanda, standing at the entrance to the kitchen, holding her teddy bear. “Uh, yes, sweetie?”

“Are you sad?”

He managed to smile, moving to kneel in front of her. “A little. I know you miss your mom. I miss her too.” Wanda put her arms around his neck, and he picked her up. “C’mon. You go get washed up, and we’ll go to the park for a little bit. We’ll have a fun day and then maybe we won’t think about being sad.” 

She nodded, tucking her face against his neck and curling her fingers into his shirt. “I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you too.” He held her a little tighter and let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. 

He got a text from Tony shortly after Clint left saying he was on his way, and Bucky excused himself from the cartoon watching to go fix his hair and make sure he looked presentable. It wasn’t a date, but… fuck, wouldn’t it be nice to pretend things were normal, and he was just a single dad going on a date? 

Bucky checked himself out again and went back downstairs. Wanda beamed at him and attempted a whistle that ended up more of a wet raspberry. 

“Handsome, daddy!”

He laughed, leaning down to tickle her. “We really gotta teach you how to whistle, kiddo.” 

The doorbell rang soon after, and he went to answer, well aware of a weight clinging to his leg as he did. “Hey. We’re ready to go, we just have to get her car seat out of my car.”

Tony cleared his throat. “Uh, maybe we should take your car. I might have forgotten about the whole car seat thing, y’know, existing, and I’m not sure it’ll fit.” He suddenly became aware of two bright blue eyes staring intensely at him from around Bucky’s knee. “....hi.” 

“Hi.” Wanda didn’t loosen her grip, watching Tony carefully. His face looked furry, and she wanted to touch it, but her daddy told her that was rude. 

“You must be Clint,” he said, attempting a joke. Judging by the horrified look on the little girl’s face, that was not the right move. Not at all. “Kidding! Kidding!” He said quickly. “I was just joking. I know you’re Wanda.”

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. “We’ll take my car. C’mon.” He led Wanda out of the house and locked it behind him. Well, this was going to be interesting. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
